Posted by
Andrews on Monday, June 01, 2009 5:15:19 PM
I will write on this later, as I have to run in a few minutes, but
here is an interesting article on Obama's speech spouting an urban myth. Can't wait for his task force to solve all those cattle mutilations and get the alligators out of the sewers in NYC. Though I doubt even Obama could get rid of the dreaded Chupacabra infestation.
POSTSCRIPT
I just got the latest alert from the Office of the President (formerly The Office of the President Elect), and it appears we have more to worry about than I thought:
The latest breaking news on the GOODTIMES virus.
It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very dangerous after
all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will
demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking
on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs
you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid
into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on
the coffee table when company comes over. It will put a dead kitten in
the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you
are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you
nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and
shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back
and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead,
such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully
those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's
voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet
seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime[sic] in your bathtub and then
leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers
with your new snowblower.
Please pass along this important presidential alert!
POSTSCRIPT II
By the way, this all makes me glad we got rid of that idiot Bush who could be taken in by urban legends and hoaxes. I am glad we have such a discerning president.