In the first two installments of our tale, "Obama's Christmas Carol - Part I" and "Obama's Christmas Carol - Part II", our protagonist was visited by the Ghosts of Presidencies Past and Presidencies Present. The former took Obama on a journey into the past, where Obama learned the lesson that Bush was not to blame, Madison was. Following that trip, the latter, in the form of Obama himself, took Obama on a whirlwind tour of the present, from which he seems to have drawn the lesson that he is a terrific guy whom everyone loves.

And with that brief summary, let us pick up our tale.

As we left Barry, he was nodding off again on the sofa in the Oval Office, quite pleased with himself, convinced that all was right with the world. But it was not to last. In the midst of his contented slumber, Barry felt someone staring at him. And, slowly rousing himself, he came face to face with Sarah Palin.

He leaped to his feet, suddenly fully awake, and rushed around the sofa, ducking down to hide behind the arm rest.

Obama: Ah! Wolf-shooting Alaskan witch-woman! In the Oval Office! Help me!
Palin: (Laughing) Oh, settle down. (She looked around the room) There's no one else here, so who's going to help you? (She smiled) Anyway, why would I hurt you? Your presidency is the best campaign ad I could ever have.
Obama: (Suddenly indignant) Hey! The people love me! (Standing up from behind the sofa) When I went to Europe...
Palin: (interrupting) Europeans don't vote. Well, not here.
Obama: (Stepping forward, looking a bit more annoyed) It's not just Europeans. ACORN, SEIU, MoveOn.org, they all gave me standing ovations...
Palin: Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, the liberals all love you... (Suddenly shaking her head) No, wait. That's not why I'm here. I have something to show you.
Obama: (Confused by the sudden change of tone) Show me?(slowly relaxing) Oh... I get it. You're another one of those... those ghost things...
Palin: The Ghost of Presidencies Future. You betcha.
Obama: So, does that mean....?
Palin: Depends on whether you believe Zogby or Rassmussen. Or those b*st*rds who run the polls at CNN...
Obama: So, if you're not the next president... then, why you?
Palin: If I looked like Biden, would you take me seriously?
Obama: (laughs) Guess not. Who could imagine Joe as president? I have trouble remembering he is the VP.
Palin: Exactly! So I get to look like Sarah Palin, hopefully to put a bit of the fear of G-d into you.
Obama: Can you say G-d in the White House? I thought separation of...
Palin: (grabbing him by the arm) Oh, just come with me!

Pulled once more through the doorway to the Oval Office, Obama found himself in a huge ballroom. He couldn't see the man at the podium through the crowd, but the amplified speech made its way to them.

Speaker: And I want to say one more time, I refuse to accept claims that I would not be here but for former President Obama... I admit his actions played a part. Those who voted for me may have been motivated by the memory of his time in office. But I am still here on my own merits...

Obama turned to whisper to Palin.

Obama: See, he has to admit I am the reason he's here. I told you the people love me. He might try to hide it, but he can't deny my role... Who is it anyway? Doesn't sound like Joe.

The speaker resumed.

Speaker: I suppose the best analogy would be Ronald Reagan. He may have been elected because of everything Carter did, but he was a great president on his own. And I hope to be such a president! (Applause) While I may be here to reverse all the damage of the Obama years, I promise to do more than that. I will bring about real reform!

Obama frowned.

Obama: Well, I suppose it is inevitable. The pendulum and all... Democrats follow Republicans, Republicans follow Democrats. Guess ti was inevitable a popular Democrat like me would be followed by some backlash...
Palin: (Smiling) But doesn't that mean you just got elected because Bush was a Republican?
Obama: (hand to his ear) What? Can't hear you...
Palin: Never mind.

And with a sudden gesture, the two were transported once more, this time back to the same newsroom Obama had visited before. The anchors this time were slightly more upbeat. The spoke of the many reforms recently enacted by the newly Republican congress, the efforts to repair the economic damage of the "Obama legacy", the efforts to stop runaway inflation, to stop job loss and curb unemployment, the many bills enacted to bring real reform.

Obama: Hey, this is Fox News again.
Palin: Sure is.
Obama: So, why should I listen? Of course they're going to say that...
Palin: Oh, please! Can't you hear what they are saying?
Obama: That my reforms will outlast even a hostile administration?
Palin: (Shaking her head) Is that really what you hear?
Obama: What else? They're still talking about me after I left office. I have still left my mark. And it drives Fox crazy. What could be better?
Palin: (Sighing) I give up.

And once more Obama found himself back in the Oval office,

Palin: You really don't get it, do you?
Obama: What's not to get? I made some changes, the next guy made his changes. Mine lasted longer. That's politics?
Palin: You really don't see any difference?
Obama: What difference? You vote the Republican line, I vote Democrat? Didn't Bush enact prescription coverage? No Child Left Behind? TARP? How is that different?
Palin: Bush wasn't a conservative!
Obama: Doesn't matter. He was president, not your imaginary conservative. What he did is what matters....
Palin:( Throwing her hands in the air) Maybe this will help...

And suddenly the room was filled with a two long rows of men, some familiar, some less so.

Palin: If the three of us couldn't get to you, maybe talking to all the presidents will help.

Looking at the assembled presidents, Obama noticed something out of place...

Obama: John McCain, you're not a president! I should know...
McCain: I'm standing in for Johnson. We both come from states along the border, nobody likes either of us, and we both passed laws that screwed up the country for years to come.
Obama: Oh....
McCain: Not that McCain-Feingold is anywhere close to being as harmful as his "Great Society"... But since I protect incumbents, I get to pretend to be president. Sort of a professional courtesy....

As McCain stepped back into line, the Ghost of Presidencies Future stepped forward once again, this time joined by the two earlier spirits.

Palin: Take a few minutes, talk to them. Listen to their stories. Maybe you can learn something from them.

And Obama did just that. Walking along the line of presidents, he made some small talk with each of them, though too quietly for the trio of ghosts to hear. It took little time, as he had only a few words with each, and soon he was done, standing once more beside the ghosts.

Palin: So, did ya learn anything? Did you get the message we were sent here to give you?
Obama: I think so. (Stepping toward the row of past presidents.) If they couldn't impeach Clinton, despite all that evidence, and even gave him two terms... And Carter got to serve a full term despite the oil crisis, the hostage, stagflation and malaise... And George Bush had a chance at a second term despite his "no new taxes" thing... And his son ruled like a Democrat but still enjoyed Republican support...
Palin: Um, that's what you got? And you drew a lesson from it?
Obama: Of course! I can do whatever I want! I might not get a second term, my party may go down in flames, but I'm still president until January 2013 no matter what! And there really is nothing anyone can do about it!

And with those final words, all the collected presidents began to nod in unison. And as one they cried out "May the non-denominational supreme being of your choice, or lack thereof, bless us, everyone!"  and then slowly faded from sight, leaving the ghosts standing alone before Obama.

Turning to one another, the spirits exchanged some awkward glances, opened and closed their mouths a few times, as if about to speak then thinking better of it, and then, shrugging, they too vanished, leaving Obama all alone. For a moment, at least, until the room itself began to shimmer and fade, leaving Obama floating in darkness.

Awaking to find himself still in the Oval Office, once more lying on his sofa, for a moment Obama was disoriented. But just for a moment. He swiftly jumped to his feet and pressed the intercom button.

"Hey, get someone in here to take some notes, I want to start work on the second stimulus... and nuclear disarmament.... Oh, and why are we messing around with insurance? Let's just nationalize medicine! Oh, what the heck! Let's just nationalize the whole thing! I already did the banks and auto makers. Why not the rest of the economy? After all, I'm not going anywhere!"

Smiling, he sat down on the sofa once again, his feet propped up before him. It may have all been a dream, but he couldn't imagine a better dream. He had three years left to do whatever he wanted. What could be better than that?

And that concludes our tale. Having seen the past, the present and the future, our protagonist has clearly learned the one essential lesson of modern politics, once you're in office, you're in office, and nothing is going to change that fact.

And hopefully my little tale has taught the readers a little something too. So long as we give them unlimited power, and worry only about whether "our" side or "their" side wields power, we will loose. There is no "us" and "them", except for the "us" and "them" of politicians and the people, and giving unlimited power to the politicians of either party is just asking for this little tale to play out.

Remember that, and try to still have a happy holiday.

POSTSCRIPT

I hope the three installments lived up to expectations. It is funny, first I worried that no one would like part I or II, and then when people did, I began to worry the final part wouldn't live up to the earlier ones. Well, it is too late now. I doubt a televised version will be playing alongside A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life, but I also doubt it is so bad a torch-wielding mob will storm my house. As long as it falls a little farther from the angry mob than from the fame and fortune end, I will be happy.